FILM SYNTHESIS

ZOMBIE LAND RULE #53: GO SEE THIS MOVIE!

sYNThesized by therealist

From the moment I started seeing previews with this movie I was extremely hopeful that it would live up to it's standards. Let me simply say, it did. Blood, guts, gore, a sexy girl, badass hillbilly, total nerd, little girl and a shitload of guns and humor.

First of all let me say that if there were one thing that I could change about the movie I would have put more Zombies in it. I'm getting my little critique out of the way first because there is a lot of good to say. When you watch movies like Dawn of the Dead or 28 Days Later, Zombies are everywhere which would technically be the realistic view of life after a zombie plague. I mean, think about how many people live in your neighborhood alone. You probably only saw half of that neighborhood in the movie.

Now, to counter that, the amount of zombies wasn't as big of a deal because when the zombies did show up, they were awesome looking, and the scenes were all perfectly executed with either brutal violence or gut-wrenching humor.

At first the main character comes off a little bit like a Michael Cera wannabe, but he quickly makes his own name. He still shares a lot of the same quirks and so forth, but he is a little different in multiple ways. Woody Harrelson  is phenomenal and plays the hillbilly badass role perfectly.

One of my favorite parts of the movie were the rules. They were constantly reminding you the key rules in awesome 3D titles which interacted a lot with the scene causing them to never get annoying.

The movie contains all aspects of some of the best movies of the year. It has the awkward romance between a nerdy kid and a beautiful, badass girl, the "trailer park boys"-esque hillbilly-isms, the hilarious comedy that hit you at every turn and obviously the brutal slaying of zombies in some of the most awesome ways I've seen on the silver screen. There were tons of highlights throughout the movie but I have to say one of the best moments was when Bill Murray made a cameo.

That man is freaking hilarious, and it happened out of nowhere, which made it all the more awesome. His part was short lived (literally) but completely played an essential part in the movie.

Frankly if you love zombie movies you will love this movie. It didn't have quite enough zombies for me but again this is a footnote on the overall awesomeness that is Zombieland.

Oh yeah, and it definitely beat Shaun of the Dead as best "Zomedy." Sure Shaun of the Dead is a classic, but it has now been upstaged by an awesome cast, awesome acting and a constant flowing story line that never leaves the viewer bored.

GO SEE IT!

CHECK THIS S#&T OUT!

NOME ALASKA: THE FOURTH KIND MOVIE TRAILER

PREviewed by beetle

"The movie called The Fourth Kind will be released on November 6, 2009.

There are four scales of measurement for alien encounters. The First Kind is the sighting of the alien. The Second Kind is the evidence of the alien. The Third Kind is the contact with the alien. The Fourth Kind is the alien abduction. Dr Abigail Tyler arrived in Nome, Alaska, to document alien abductions. Nome, a remote region in Alaska, has been the targeted by aliens as an alarming number of her population got abducted by aliens. This movie attempted to investigate the claims of alien abductions in Nome, Alaska.

Milla Jovovich, Will Patton and Elias Koteas starred in The Fourth Kind."

SILENT NOISE

Short attention span?  Me too.

tUNEd in by analog

I rarely listen to more than a few songs in a sitting and I'm usually doing something else at the same time.  Hey, underwear don't wash itself and I'm a guy who likes clean underwear.  And since all my best ideas come to me while I'm knee deep in the delicates, here's a list of some songs you should take the time to check out. 

Islands - Devout

from Vapours (2009 Anti)

At right around 2 and a 1/2 minutes, Devout is a delicious blast of moody keyboard pop from a record that finds the Montreal band sounding like Hot Hot Heat if they'd steered clear of radio-rock.  Are the cheesy drum machine and keyboard sounds an intentional throw-off?  Or is the band just lazy with their programming?  Either way I've heard these sounds before.  Don’t worry, the melody and playfulness in Devout more than makes up for these sonic shortfalls.  There is something classic about the way the chorus is hesitant to crank itself up.  Singer Nick Diamonds coos softly at first and then struts toward a finish that comes far too soon.

http://www.myspace.com/islands

Kit Lamb - Faulkrist

from Faulkrist EP

If you've fallen in love with the drones and hazy melodies of ambient composers like Fennesz or Tim Hecker then the Faulkrist EP from California mystery man Kit Lamb will be just the right cup of tea to calm your shaky, distorted thoughts.  The music is volatile and abstract.  It is calming yet tense.  Starting with only a phasing organ, the song reveals itself slowly, the chord progressions shrouded.  The changes double over on themselves slowly and you begin to hear melodies in the distance as if listening to a classical performance from the street outside an auditorium.  You can't tell if those melodies are real or just the frequencies bouncing off each other.  At the midway point violins emerge, white noise creeps up in bursts and waves and for a moment the fog breaks and thickens at the same time.  This kind of music is for the patient.  Repeated listens will bring much joy.  

http://www.myspace.com/kitlamb

Coma - Sum

from Kompakt Total 10 (2009 Kompakt)

Unless you're heavy into club culture or just waste countless hours searching for new music on the internet (oh the shame!), you've probably never heard of Cologne, Germany's Kompakt Records.  They specialize in techno and it's many, many sub-genres and after being in the game for more than a decade, have built themselves quite a reputation for being purveyors of quality cuts from all over the globe.  Now along comes the tenth anniversary of the labels long running artist compilation series and for anyone who feels that groove can save their soul, Total 10 is like a gift from the 4/4 kick-drum gods.  For everyone else, it's just techno.  Except one song from the mammoth compilation (21 tracks most over 7 minutes!) stands out above the rest.  Sum by Coma is heavy on atmosphere.  The beat is constant but barely there, not much more than hi-hats, percussion and reverb.  The bass is elastic and subtle.  Original?  No way.  Exhilarating?  Definitely.  Not because it serves up something totally new to dance music, but because it is an exercise in just how little you need to make someone want to move their ass.

http://www.kompakt.fm

Matthew Good - The Vancouver National Anthem

from Vancouver (release date Oct 6 2009)

I've had quite the relationship with Matthew Good.  I've loved and hated him equally.  That being said, there isn't much to dislike about this track from his forthcoming album, Vancouver.  Not much has changed in the approach.  The guitars are front and centre and the hooks are guaranteed to make radio programmers wet.  But one thing is different here.  Matt's usually inaccessible lyrics are nowhere to be found.  This is a story that anyone who lives in Vancouver knows all too well.  Needles and the homeless.  Gangsters and ghettos.  Privilege and grief.  This chorus refrain says it all " we all live downtown, pay in blood, no parking, sleep on the ground, step over ourselves."  Matt Good being direct?  I never thought I'd see the day.

http://www.matthewgood.org 

POPULAR DECULTURALIZATION

VAMPIRES SERIOUSLY SUCK

RANt by therealist

I recently started working at Chapters, which has been amazing. The staff are all pretty amazing, the job itself is a walk in the park, and it's pretty much a peaceful place for me to go after the hectic times I have at school. With that being said, I've also been exposed to the absolutely SICKENING amount of Vampire based product that is being spewed out. Seriously. When the fuck did Vampires become so cool? I know this isn't a new thing, but it just doesn't stop growing and growing. It's like fucking Harry Potter on steroids and cocaine.

I simply typed the word Vampire into IMDB and received 1357 results. Ok, granted there were a fair amount of Vampire movies back in the day, but some of the stuff that's popping up now is just plain ridiculous. I'll list a few I found: Being Human, Bleeder, Abraham's Boys, Thirst, Blood Army, Blood Countess 1 & 2, Blood Rouges, Blood: The Last Vampire, Children in the Woods, Dark Beginnings, Crossed, Daybreakers, Dead Sucks, Doomsday County I mean the list goes on and on and on and I only listed things that have already been produced. I couldn't even start to list the amount of movies that are in pre-production.

It makes it even worse that Twilight films right next to my bands jam space so we are forced to frequent check-ins by the Twilight staff to make sure we aren't playing too loud, in case we interrupt filming. Seriously, it's because of this movie (or books) success that people are just throwing vampires into anything they can because they know it will sell.

I mean that's just the tip of the iceberg. What happened to Anne Rice? God she's been around since, well shit I can't even remember because she's been around forever. I mean, I love the True Blood series on TV, but why is it that this woman (Charlaine Harris), who is writing these books now basically so that HBO can churn them into screenplays, is so fucking popular? I've read some of her stuff, and I've read Anne Rice and she is no where near as talented as an author. It's like comparing Harlequin Romance to Sarte or Nietzsche or Dostoevsky. She's not a terrible writer, but she is in no way great. And she's not the only one. Some author literally released like nine books right after Twilight came out that are all basically the same story, same cover idea, just not as popular. But now even this person is getting some spotlight, because people can't keep up with the demand for vampire related material. There is a section at my work called, "Bella's Favorites." BELLA IS A FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM A BOOK! SHE HAS NO FAVORITES.

JESUS CHRIST. It's ridiculous. Did any of you VAMP fans notice that your beloved Robert Pattinson was fucking Cedric in Harry Potter first? No you probably didn't, because no one cared about Cedric in Harry Potter. Give him some fangs, and he's the hottest man alive. YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS THERE TWO YEARS AGO.

J.K. Rowling and the Harry Potter series was huge, and everyone who left that series when it finished jumped to Twilight. I have to say it again for all the stupid little fucking girls out there, ROBERT PATTINSON WAS CEDRIC IN HARRY POTTER AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING NOTICE.

End of story.

Vampires don't exist, so stop making your stupid blogs and fan sites based around them because of one god damn movie.

I seriously think a giant wooden stake needs to be driven through the economical giant that is Vampire labeling.

Bring fucking zombies back.

At least they don't glitter in the sunlight.

FILM SYNTHESIS

THE INVENTION OF LYING: WORTH 

SEEING IF YOU LOVE GERVAIS

B-B-B-BEETLE

Moral of the story: little fat kids with snub noses are not the end of the world. I love the movie. I really did. I thought that it was a super clever concept and was written with the whit and sharpness that I have come to expect from Ricky Gervais. And honestly, Jennifer Garner ROCKED her role as "Anna"; she was just as sweet and naive as you expect Garner to be in real life. The movie's basic concept surrounds a time and place where there is no such thing as a "lie"; people can nly speak the truth and have no idea that "lies" are even a possibility, it is unphathomable to them. As you can see in the trailer, Gervais' character "Mark", realizes that he has the ability to "Tell something that's not" (AKA Lie). The movie focuses on some touchy subjects and insecurities that a lot of people have and face everyday, which made for some awkward moments. However, all-in-all, totally A-game movie that I loved. (I even got a T-Shirt to rock from the Premiere! WOO! Thanks Warner Bros!) GO SEE IT!

CONCERT CONDUCTION

CUFF THE DUKE = TOP NOTCH CANADIAN TALENT

CONductED BY atlantictiger

One of the best under-the-radar Canadian bands out there, in my humble opinion, is Cuff The Duke. Reigning from a small Ontario town, their sound is best described as good ol' Canadian roots rock with a twinge of country and a hint of folk. I've been a fan since the release of their second record, self-titled Cuff The Duke, and I had never received the privilege to see them live until September 24th at the Biltmore Cabaret.

Having never been to the Biltmore before, I was impressed by their mood lighting, comfy chairs, and drink table/video game combination (I definitely indulged and played Ms. Pac-Man for a mere 50 cents whilst resting my drink on top of it). When it came time for Cuff The Duke to take the stage, I rushed up to the front, and was impressed once again by the intimate stage size and how unbelivably close I was going to be to the band. The stagehands promptly closed the curtains so they could set up in private, and every moment waiting for them to draw them open was aganizing. I'd been waiting for this moment for almost 4 years!

Finally, the curtains swung open, and out walked Cuff The Duke, looking extremely Canadian in jeans, boots, and plaid shirts. There was probably only three feet between me and the band, so I was actually leaning back to take in the whole stage! They opened with the fiddle-charged "If I Live or If I Die", which instantly got the rather drunken crowd rowdy. I'm pretty sure my friend & I were the only sober ones in that audience, as I got many random pushes to my back, loud yells of "YOU'RE SEXY!" into my ear, and drinks splashed onto my legs. You wouldn't think that a soft-spoken, polite band like Cuff The Duke (who constantly kept thanking everyone - very adorable) would attract such a crowd, but I tried my best to ignore them and focus on the music in front of me.

They mostly played tracks from their new abum, Way Down Here, which they were touring across Canada (from St. John's to Victoria) to promote. Way Down Here is a perfect blend of harder and softer songs, which is a lot like their previous three abums. This balance was also executed live - for one song, everybody picked up a guitar and jammed out for at least six minutes, while the next song featured a piano, acoustic guitar, and slide guitar. The band also showed off their chops by switching their instruments up with every new song - the only person who remained stationary with their instrument was the drummer!

Their encore was a lengthy cover of the Velvet Underground's "Oh Sweet Nuthin'", where they invited opening act Zeus (also from Ontario) up on stage with them. With at least five guitars, the song was pulsating jam session, where all of the guys shared mics to belt out the chorus together, along with the audience shouting their hearts out. Even with the crowd of drunks, it was a night of solid Canadian music, and I wish Cuff The Duke all the success in the world because they're modest enough to deserve it.

RANDOM

FAME KILLS TOUR GETS CANNED BEFORE IT EVEN LAUNCHES

REPORTED BY LIGHTERfluid

Perezhilton.com reports: The Kanye West and Lady GaGa "Fame Kills" tour has JUST been cancelled, concert promoters Live Nation confirm exclusively to PerezHilton.com. No official reason has been given for the cancellation.Refunds are available at the point of purchase. Tickets purchased online and via phone will be refunded automatically. Such a bummer. It was gonna be epic!

hmmm, is anyone really surprised that douchebag and ladyweird have cancelled? REALLY? seemed shakey from the start for me. I mean, yes, I do think that it would be one hell of a show... but come on now? After Kanye's latest debocal and GaGa's sexuality mystery... this tour was fragile from the get go. Oh well, refund your ticket and get a ticket to Jay Z (ft. N.E.R.D and Wale) at GM Place Oct 16... now THAT is going to be one hell of a show.

FILM SYNTHESIS

A MOVIE THAT IS PHENOMENAL 

AND THAT YOU REALLY NEED TO 

GO AND SEE... NOW: THE COVE

a SUGGESTION frOM bEETle

LITERARY BREAKDOWN

TOP NOTCH ESCAPIST NOVEL THAT I WOULD RECOMMEND: TOO HUMAN - JEREMY SENKO

BROKENdown by BEETle

Synopsis:

In a world where chaos flourishes, Spencer Walsh remains oblivious. Stuck in a drunken stupor, his completely uneventful life suddenly changes overnight, plunging him deep into a series of events nothing could have prepared him for. After learning a life changing detail about his past (and future) he ventures half way around the world to find out the truth behind all of the mysteries. While on his travels, Spencer meets a host of intriguing individuals, each more interesting than the last. From Vancouver to Mexico all the way to Spain, Spencer begins to learn things about himself he never knew possible while he tries to escape death at every turn.

Review:

I had the pleasure of reading this book both when it was in it’s editing process as well as the completed product. If you like Heroes, or X-Men, you will love this book. Hell, even if you DON’T love Heroes or X-Men you will love this book. This is already the 2^nd novel from the book’s author, young Vancouverite Jeremy Senko. “Too Human” is written in a manor of which a 21 year old rarely writes. The book is written in a wry, witty style which I found incredibly tight and engaging. It is very concise and doesn’t float around any bullshit. Everything is to-the-point in the crassest way possible.  I loved the plot of the story. I found it to be something that you rarely read about, it is more-so a plot that you would see on the silver screen, therefore, it was refreshing! It kept me very entertained; I found myself envisioning epic explosions and diving rolls while reading “Too Human”. I give props to J.Senko for staying away from the clichés that young authors often fall into, he writes with the poise of a well versed author and I expect great things to come from him. I would really suggest this to anyone who likes a good escapist novel. 


you can buy the novel on Amazon now!  - http://bit.ly/3IgFfb

DISMANTLING THE BAND

FUR BEARING ANIMALS BEAR NOTHING BUT SPECTACULAR

disMANTLED by LIGHTERfluid.

Where to start about Fur Bearing Animals… I used to do a ton of local shows in Vancouver… worked with a zillion bands and had the pleasure of working with these guys on a number of occasions. Fur Bearing Animals still stand out in my mind as being one of the best bands to work with in Western Canada. No two ways about it. Not only are they incredible musicians, but they are outstanding human beings. Fur Bearing Animals is comprised of Michael Fraser and Andrew Clements. Both gentlemen are wickedly talented in their own rights.

 When seeing FBA live, you don’t really know what you expect. One minute you are listening to a sweet, warm song full of guitar, groovy beats and Andrew’s sick voice, the next minute you have Michael rocking the Violin over beats that you would only find in the most high-energy electro tracks. In all fairness, I shouldn’t keep talking about them, because everything that I could possibly say is positive and I don’t want to taint you before you check them out. However, in saying that… go check them out now! http://www.myspace.com/furbearinganimals to hear some tracks. And hey, how about you get your ass down to Pub 340 on Oct 16^th and check them out live?

You can also check them out here:

http://www.furbearinganimals.com

http://www.furbearinganimals.com/facebook

RANDOM

YOUTUBES TOP 100 SENSATIONS IN 4 MINUTES

BROUGHT TO YOU BY beetle

i think that this is seriously bad ass. i mean, it really shows how a sneezing baby panda has helped to revolutionize how we get our entertainment. youtube is a phenomena that has yet to be matched by any other source online. i find it seriously amazing that videos of cute kittens, sneezing pandas and ranting britney fans can gain millions upon millions of views. it truly shows the immense power of social media. check this vid, pretty damn entertaining.

RANDOM

YOUR DAILY DOES OF FLOGGING MOLLY

BROUGHT TO YOU BY BEETle