Thursday, September 17, 2009
DISMANTLING THE BAND
DISMANTLED BY BEETLE
It's awesome to see a band like Gossip get some recognition! Even if it is on the Italian Rolling Stone. I have mad respect for, front woman, beth ditto. She has broken all sorts of boundaries and social stigmas in the music industry and i think that is wickedly cool. the fact that perez hilton pimps her and the band out on a daily basis doesn't hurt their success. GOSSIP hits the Commodore Ballroom October 22nd, 2009. Don't miss out on this seriously bad-ass good time: http://bit.ly/aHzgU
MYSPACE: http://www.myspace.com/gossipband
SOCIAL COMBUSTION
TOO BAD DOUCHEBAG-SUPREMO MAKES AN APPEARANCE
YOUTUBE-STOLEN BY BOO
As I watch this video, I wonder if Jay-Z is kicking himself for having Kanye in the breakout single from his new album “BluePrint III”… I mean, the publicity is good, but when you have stations boycotting your track because the bully is in it… that’s rough. I can’t lie about how much I love this song. I mean, rihanna KILLS it. Seriously, she is mad amounts of bad ass in the chorus. Jigga holds his own, which is good considering it’s HIS track, ha! But then, at the end of the song, signore douchebagio makes and appearance. Oh well, at least he is tight in the song. It’s just too bad that all of Kanyes negative attitude has to affect this song getting played on top 40. Hopefully, this will all blow over and this track can go on to reign supreme on the charts, as it rightfully should.
(image provided by digg - thanks!)
SOCIAL COMBUSTION
COMBusted by atlantictiger
Just because the following tunes aren’t necessarily “credible”, it doesn’t stop me from loving them. If I get confused look from people as I crank these songs in the car with the windows down, I really don’t give much of a shit. These tracks may have painful lyrics, mediocre production, or the artist might have been a one-hit-wonder, but their play counts on my iTunes will continue to rise. Why? Because they’ve got catchy hooks that stick in your brain. Simple as that. Thus, here are my top 10 choices of guilty pleasure pop songs, in no particular order:
See You Again (Rock Mafia Remix), by Miley Cyrus
You have to admit – this is a pretty well-crafted pop song. It’s relatable in the fact that every teenager has gone through some sort of phase where they can’t find the words to say in front of their high school crush, and whether or not Miley actually penned the lyrics to this, I really don’t care. Oh, and this Rock Mafia remix totally owns the original version because of its use of cheesy electro drum fills.
The Way I Are (featuring Keri Hilson and D.O.E.), by Timbaland
When you think about it, this is a pretty simple song with a basic beat and a synth line that sounds like it’s been constructed in 30 seconds. Yet, it was one of the biggest songs for a while in pop music. I couldn’t tell you why other people were constantly playing it, but I enjoy it for its message (of all things):
“I don’t need the cheese or the car keys, boy
I like you just the way you are”
I’m not a greedy girl, and I don’t need to be bought expensive things, so it was refreshing to hear this song on the radio that was about a poor guy trying to win over a girl, instead of a rich moron rapping about liquor and strippers!
Shake That (featuring Nate Dogg), by Eminem
Speaking of liquor and strippers…
This is quite literally a song about both. Plus drugs. And various sexual acts. Not necessarily a fan of the content, but this rap song has a sweet flow (and I can totally rap the whole thing). It’s a winner to break out at house parties because everyone joins in at the chorus:
“SHAKE THAT ASS FOR ME!
SHAKE THAT ASS FOR ME, C’MON GIRL!”
Lollipop (Candyman), by Aqua
Whoever remembers this song is my hero! Definitely my favorite song off of Aquarium. Screw “Barbie Girl” – that song’s been played to death. It’s all about “Lollipop” and its catchy synth and bouncy beat.
“This is the end of the SWEET SUGAR CANDY MAN!”
Boyfriend, by Ashlee Simpson
This is the track where I will most likely get hated on. Yes, I know Ashlee Simpson is a talentless droid, built only by her father to trounce her equally untalented sister, but you gotta love that guitar hook. She probably didn’t even write it, for gosh sakes, so I can love it all I want!
Sexyback, by Justin Timberlake
I know you ALL love this one. Seriously. What is not to love? Damn you, Timbaland, and your ability to create unbelievably appealing beats and synth lines! I don’t know why this song isn’t played in clubs still. For some reason, it has a timeless quality to it, and I demand it be added to all of the clubs’ playlists so everyone can have a sexy good time.
The Bad Touch, by The Bloodhound Gang
Again…I totally know you all dig this one. This song was pretty shocking when it came out, especially because the majority of its listeners were young and impressionable in elementary school. When you actually grow up and move past the “Let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel” line, you’ll catch the other satirically witty lyrics and appreciate the grooving bassline.
Steal My Sunshine, by LEN
Every time I hear this song, it automatically puts me in a good mood. I love when songs that contain depressing lyrics (“I know it’s done for me if you steal my sunshine”) have such a happy groove to them that you don’t even notice. It just makes me feel young and responsibility-free…something I wish I could go through again. Damn you, adulthood.
Faded, by soulDecision
I don’t remember exactly when this song came out, but I can tell you it didn’t sound like anything else at the time. It’s got sort of an RnB, funk feel to it that doesn’t seem like it would come out of a band of white guys. I love the cheesy rap breakdown in the middle, and the fast pace of the chorus that makes you feel proud when you spew out the lyrics.
Yeah (featuring Lil Jon and Ludacris), by Usher
Overall, this song is kind of a joke. The only reason why I included it on my list is for Ludacris’s rap. Check it out:
“Watch out!
My outfit's ridiculous, in the club lookin' so conspicuous
And ROWR!
These women all on the prowl, if you hold the head steady, I'ma milk the cow
Forget about the game, I'ma spit the truth
I won't stop till I get 'em in they birthday suuuuuits!
So gimme the rhythm and it'll be off with their clothes
Then bend over to the front and touch your toes!
I left the Jag and I took the Rolls
If they ain’t cutting then I put ‘em on foot patrooooool!
How you like me now, when my pinky's valued over three hundred thou-sand
Let’s drank, you the one to please, Ludacris fill cups like double D's!
Me and Ursh once more and we leave 'em dead, we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed!”
I CAN RAP THAT WHOLE THING. Ask me the next time we’re at a party. I will do it for you. I swear.
DISMANTLING THE BAND
THE HORRORS: ELECTO-PUNK AT IT’S CLASSIEST
DISMANTled by BEETle
The Horrors used to be bipolar, brutalists, us vs. them, pure and simple. But with the release of their latest album, Primary Colours, they have erupted out of the monochrome, like Dorothy’s dream in ‘The Wizard of Oz’, into jaw-dropping Technicolor – lurid, textural, and astonishingly detailed. Driven by futurism, invention and dark passions, The Horrors are a group firmly united on a quest for sounds that have never been heard before.
“If you’re doing something creative, you have to keep changing, progress is very important to us", states frontman, Faris Badwan.
The Horrors five members came together in their late teens, after linking up in Southend and London
Hailed as the “new Sex Pistols” by the editor of NME, the band has worked with a variety of producers including Jim Sclavunos from Nick Cave Glastonbury , Australia , Mexico , Turkey , Scandinavia and Japan
The Horrors are taking punk to the next level, mixing beats with electronic grooves and crashing guitars. The spirit is still impeccably punky. The music, this time, is out of this world.
Don’t miss The Horrors with special guests at Venue on October 7th, 2009.
Thanks to E Vint @ Live Nation for the Photo + Bio.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
FILMSYNTHESIS
"THETA PI, SAYS GOODBYE...": SORORITY ROW REVIEW
sYNThesized by cherryice
When I stepped into the theater to catch a screening of "Sorority Row", I only had two expectations.
1. The movie would consist of a slew of half naked, unknown starlets running around a sorority house.
2. Audrina Patridge, finally in her breakout role, would show no personality difference between her character on The Hills (everyone's favourite non-reality reality show) and her character in this movie.
Based on my low expectations, I cannot call the movie a disappointment. But in the grand scheme of things, the further you can get from this movie, the better off you'll be. Don't get me wrong - it starts off strong. It's opening scene, admittedly more R-rated, is quite similar to the likes of Legally Blonde - a steady shot running through a crowded, decorated sorority house, during RUSH week. But it quickly changes tone, as the self-proclaimed "bitches" of the movie, the senior sisters, introduce the main plot - a prank gone terribly wrong = dead, lingerie clad Megan, thrown down a mine shaft. With the exception of husky voiced Cassidy (first seen as Andie in Step Up 2), the girls agree to keep this murder a secret - they promise to not let this ruin their life.
Flash forward 8 months, to graduation night. The sisters all receive a text message at the same time, a message that contains a picture of the wretched tool used to kill Megan. Passing it off as a sick joke, they ignore the text and get ready for their party. Enter Chugs, played by Margo Harshman (remember Tawny, from Even Stevens? Yeah, that's her). Possibly the biggest disappointment in the movie is how quickly Chugs disappears from the screen. She was without doubt the freshest, funniest character in the movie, and when she dies, the movie goes right along with her. From that point on, it's a gorefest, complete with catfights, meltdowns, shower scenes, and finally, one original death sequence, complete with an overheated hottub and a cascade of bubbles. Had it not been for an unreasonable need to see how the climax unfolds (PS, a warning - don't expect Orphan-esque twists. While no horror movie is complete without it's unexpected turn, this is not one to brag about), I would have left the theatre the second Chugs was no longer involved.
This movie is 18-A, so you can expect to see many a topless actress, bloody wardrobe, and gory murders. But, unless you are the group of drunk, 20-something guys behind me, who were cheering the entire way through, I strongly urge you to spend your 10 dollars elsewhere. I hear "Jennifer's Body" has all the same teasers as this movie - naked girls, violence, and an 18-A rating, with a much improved trade off of Megan Fox as its lead. Maybe I'll see you there. But you certainly won't catch me at any more screenings of "Sorority Row".
AUDIO DECONSTRUCTION
CLOWNS AND KEYTARS: THE JOHNSTONES REVIEW
deCONstructed by electryone
Band: The Johnstones
Album: Can’t be Trusted
Genre: self described as “ska-punk gangstas"
Release Date: Sept 8, 2009
Fun Fact: These guys are from Ajax, Ontario... same town as Sum41.
So, with my new back-to-back math classes starting at 8am I’ve been listening to A LOT of ska lately to keep my mood and wakefulness up in the morning (because there’s NO WAY anyone can be sad while listening to ska...) So this week I noticed a new album that I might be interested in...
Unfortunately (well, as it turns out it was a GREAT thing) I wasn’t able to obtain a hard copy of the album, but almost all of it can be found on their myspace page, including the new music videos and stuff too: http://www.myspace.com/thejohnstones
First Impression: As I started listening to the first track, I really didn’t notice much ska influence at all... There was a little trumpet towards the end, but it also lacked the trademark upbeat. The singer has the absolute definition of a punk voice: scratchy, with a few squeaks and crazy things going on.
Second Impression: After about 4-5 songs I REALLY wanted to stop listening. It still lacked any real ska or punk or gangster vibe to it. The songs all sounded the same. What little trumpet there was, was SO cliché... they could’ve come straight out of a “beginning to the essentials of ska” book.
Favourite Song: GGGetcha. Well... least disliked song anyway, it was mostly good but got annoying after awhile.
Overall: It turns out that their genre is really just unoriginal punk-pop-rock... If Sum 41, Good Charlotte and Green Day, had a 3-way and out popped a malformed, genetically unlucky baby, it would be named the Johnstones. They DO have some good moments, but it is overpowered by bland guitar with too much feedback and extra noise. If they had a slightly cleaner sound, a little more originality, and less repetition some of their songs could actually be possibly listenable.
Side Thought: Technically it doesn’t have to do with the music itself, but with lyrics like “gimme your love or just gimme some money” and others, I have a really strong feeling that these guys are super douchey, so I don’t feel too bad about giving them a bad review.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
LIVE!
bROUght to you by analog
Award shows and I don't really mix. The stuff i like never wins. The music is usually crap and, generally, I am a cynical bastard when it comes to watching them. so with out further bullshit, I present: Cynical Bastard Watches 2009 MTV Video Music Awards
6:00 - madonna is our mother. she gives us sermon. mostly about her and a little about michael jackson.
6:05 - dance!! michael jackson tribute full effect. janet sings a bit. janet is the michael that stayed black and never got a nose job.
6:15 - kanye west just blasted taylor swift during her acceptance speech for best female video. poor girl just stood at the front of the stage with a dazed look on her face. another notch on the kayne = crapbag belt.
6:20 - naptime. hey. its sunday night and i have a two year old daughter. i'm tired. all the time.
6:45 - lady gaga is dancing with wheelchairs. all white costumes. is this a dream? no its the VMA's! this girl has some presence. a female david bowie. piano solo. is she even playing? she flung her leg up on the piano keys and its conspicuously covering the camera shot of her hands playing that piano. funny. ultimate deathsex finale with blood and pseudo christian imagery. love it.
6:55 - longest commercial break like fucking ever. now who the shit is this? some 12 year old just introduced taylor swift. let the bore-fest begin.
7:03 - green day. bore-fest continues....
7:15 - new moon trailer. screaming girls. i hate screaming girls. i also hate twilight. but if i were a fan i'd be pretty excited cause it looks like a lot of money was spent. i still hate twilight.
7:22 - beyonce. bore-fest 3000. russell brand is no where near funny.
7:30 - kayne west has been booed twice in 10 mins
7:35 - Muse destroys. Matt bellamy's voice is less nasal and surprisingly on point. they really tear it up. chops for miles. musicians with instruments? what a concept. best set of the night so far.
7:40 - these spots with tracy morgan and eminem are starting to make me laugh. they were just singing "time after time". em was tearin' up. he's sensitive.
7:45 - all american rejects rejected 2 of their band members and said yes to chest glitter.
7:48 - kanye booed again. this house band really sucks. clusterfuck of bad r&b breaks and congo jamming. just noticed that they have like 7 keyboards on stage. who needs that many keyboards?
7:58 - lady gaga wins best new artist. covered in red lace. freaks out eminem and tracy morgan. most punk moment of the night courtesy of lady gaga "this is for god and the gays!"
8:10 - house band asks the crowd to make some noise. they do not. even the crowd at the VMA's know this house band sucks.
8:12 - kanye booed again. i love this crowd. they know what's up.
8:15 - Beyonce high class award for giving taylor swift her moment. that's one noble lady.
8:20 - jay-z and alicia keys. and i'm bored again. what can i say. this is the new MTV. i guess our views on music don't really jive. i'm not surprised. but for event of this size they did an ok job keeping my attention. some funny moments, some scandal. but all under the veil of a increasingly awkward broadcast which kept jumping from point to point without any real flow. although i wish i had shut off the television before they ran that michael jackson trailer. jacked up on pain killers michael jackson? no thank you.
8:30 - russell brand is not funny. MTV get a new host. and hire some more bands. there's lots too choose from. bands that aren't green day.
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