GRAMMY NODS; LMAFO (NO PUN INTENDED)
BY ANALOG
The Grammy nominations came out this week and as usual, they are shit. Beyonce and Taylor Swift dominate. What a surprise. They are the only thing close to superstars that North America even has despite being horribly unoriginal. There are more R&B, Pop and Rap awards than almost all other categories combined which proves again that major labels don't care about anything but disposable, cookie-cutter, autotuned shlock. In typical Grammy fashion, artists are nominated for awards they have no business in winning. Brad Paisley is nominated for best rock instrumental and Dave Matthews is nominated for best rock album. While both of those guys are many things, including both being ridiculously great guitar players, neither one is ROCK. The Best Alternative category, although filled with great records by Brian Eno/David Byrne, Depeche Mode, Phoenix
I could go on about all the other amazingly bogus things about the Grammys but I found that 1 category illustrates best just how much this awards show has its giant money-grubbing head in the sand. BEST NEW ARTIST.
ZAC BROWN BAND
KERI HILSON
MGMT
SILVERSUN PICKUPS
THE TING TINGS
Seriously? The only reason Lady Gaga isn't on this list is because of technicality in the rules (she was nominated for an award last year) and everyone, including the people nominated, know she is the REAL best new artist. But that is just the beginning of the chaos at work here. The Ting Tings debut record came out in 2008. Their last single that anyone remembers ("Shut Up and Let Me Go") came out in 2008. They are not new plus they suck. Keri Hilson toured with Lil Wayne. Wow. YOU SUCK! I have no idea who Zac Brown is. Silversun Pickups are a great band. They remind me of Smashing Pumpkins but without Billy Corgan's ego. I have all their records. Wait a sec. Records? That’s right, they have 1 EP, 2 full length albums and "Lazy Eye" off 2006's Carnavas was a bonafide rock-radio hit. And finally, MGMT. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE MGMT and sang their praises up and down when Oracular Spectacular was released back in 2007.....let me repeat. 2007!!!!! "But wait, I still hear Kids every day on the radio!" you say. That song along with “Time to Pretend” and “Electric Feel” were all released as singles back in 2008. How current. How NEW.
Fear Not! I won't leave you with a horrible taste in your mouth from my jaded bitterness. I give the final word to Lady Gaga. It’s an excerpt from her interview with Ellen from November 27, 2009. The first few minutes are the best when she flat out sticks it to every joke of a pop star who thinks that image is the only important thing in today's music culture.
Ellen: you’re not just a great singer, you’re a show, you’re an entertainer….and you actually sing, which is very important…
Gaga: I always think that’s funny when I meet people and they’re like “Oh my god it’s amazing, YOU SING!” I’m like “Aren’t we supposed to sing?”
Ellen: you are supposed to sing
Gaga: it’s part of the gig isn’t it? We have to sing live
Ellen: your title is SINGER you should sing
Gaga: SURPRISE!
