COMBUSTED BY SCumBAG
For those of you who know me, you know that I hate U2. I hate U2 more than anything in the world. I have openly advocated the public stoning of Bono and his merry band of overrated and untalented musicians ever since I ever heard the first note of his accursed wailing enter my earlobes. Since I started writing for howikilledthescene.com, I have been patiently waiting for the day where U2 would slip up, and I would have an opportunity to ravage them verbally over the internet. Now that day has come, and I couldn’t be happier. Ladies and gentlemen, we are experiencing yet another hypocritical and useless gesture from Bono and U2. On Thursday, November 11, U2 played a “free” MTV-produced concert in Berlin. All went well, except for that free part. 10,000 tickets were distributed online and those who didn’t get a chance to get their hands on one of them were subject to a 6 ft tall gate with white covering blocking the view. Good job, U2, you shit all over your fans and reputation again.
In a statement released by the pompous and utterly irrelevant MTV, they went on to say something along the lines of the fence being something to give the 10,000 people who were actually admitted entry to the debacle a safe and confined environment. Except that totally defeats the purpose of putting on a free show, you dolts. Now while it pains me to think that more than 10,000 people in this world actually enjoy U2, it pains me even more to come to the realization that these fans are not only spoonfed shitty quality music every few years, but they can turn a blind eye to Bono, U2 and their self-righteous behavior. That fence wasn’t to create a safe and confined environment, it was so you would go home and watch U2 on TV and boost MTV’s ratings so they had more money to pay U2, who was probably gouging them for an undeserved 10 million dollars for the lackluster 4 song, let me repeat that, 4 SONG SETLIST that they managed to squeeze out for “free” in between bathing in 100 dollar bills and pretending to love African children. Bono doesn’t love Africa OR his fans, Bono loves mansions and fake breasted women, just like the rest of the people who start out playing in a band for the sake of getting rich. Not that I would object to having those things in large quantity, because I wouldn’t, but I would never take advantage of a loyal fanbase to do so. It’s called musical integrity, something U2 hasn’t showed signs of for the better part of 2 decades.
The whole “free concert” thing has been done before, albeit by better standards in this. Ozzy Osbourne went out and did free Ozzfest dates a few years back, but even then, I’m pretty sure they also had a limited number of tickets and I’m sure that a bottle of water would have cost your soul, firstborn, and an organ transplant to one of the old and dying fat-cats in the head office of whatever record label managed to let Ozzy go through with the idea, but still, I doubt they constructed a big wall to screw over the rest of the Ozzy loving populace who didn’t get a chance to go. Even if they did, Ozzy still rules and hasn’t been a big consistent douchebag like Bono over the years. You know what? I can’t wait until everyone finally figures out that U2 were never any good, Bono will always not care about the fans, and African children are still going to live in shitty conditions in a third world country, despite what Bono thinks about it all changing in the purchasing their new DVD (which would probably cost $200 dollars, and send a free complimentary can of soup overseas everytime you realize that you’ve been tricked that U2 are still money-grubbing dumbasses).
While I happen to be writing about how much I hate this band and everything they stand for, I’d like to point out that appearing in iPod and Blackberry commercials couldn’t prove my point any harder than I’m trying to do now. U2 definitely did NOT need to appear in those commercials to put food on the table. U2 needed to appear in those commercials to suck those corporations dry. Speaking of which, I just happened to throw out my iPod and smash my Blackberry all over the cement after I saw those commercials…I’m just kidding, I never had a Blackberry, but be sure I would have smashed had I owned one at the time. In other news, Bono decided to shave off his pseudo-aging hippy grease mullet and go for a more reserved pseudo-hippy shaved head new era of douchebaggery look. Look, he still wears the same dumbass glasses and same ridiculous jackets. Nothing’s changed, except for how much richer that shitty band is. I swear to god, there isn’t a bigger abomination in the world as having U2 in the Rock Hall of Fame. It’s insulting, and quite frankly, nausea inducing.
